Did you know that there are many ways to prevent pregnancy at home without the use of hormones, IUD’s, Pills, or even condoms? Yes, even allowing your man to “release” sperm inside you comfortably at certain times with full peace of mind! An exciting and liberating thought right? Probably a little scary to consider since most of us have been guided to a fear based stance on pregnancy prevention since 6th grade but let's start to unwind that fear here and now and get back to our natural state of safe intimacy and being the gatekeeper of when to bring a child into the world through FAM(Fertility Awareness Method). A scientifically proven method of pregnancy prevention uncommonly discussed.
Your body is an INCREDIBLE biological system that can do things beyond even our most intelligent person’s comprehension. It is something that can be re-calibrated, adjusted, and deeply understood if you just know how to. There is a lot we can go on just even speaking about the human system but in this particular article let’s talk about pregnancy prevention, or even better, let's talk about HOW to fully understand the female body to be able to tell when you are fertile or becoming fertile to prevent or encourage contraception.
We are going to go over the “Fertility Awareness Method” or FAM. This is more than counting the days of your cycle to know when you are fertile or not, it's about fully tuning in to the rhythm of your body and being educated in knowing the signs of what it’s telling you. This is not “The Rhythm Method” which assumes all women ovulate on the 14th day of the cycle. Actually, all women have unique rhythms and ovulate on different days even if they bleed together so the Rhythm Method alone is not reliable.
Did you know that there is actually only one 5-6 day window of time a month that you can actually get pregnant? That’s a pretty small window! In fact on an even more detailed observation your egg is only available for 24-48HRs at maximum!
Sperm can live inside your body up to 5 days when cervical fluid is present, some say 7 but woman health educated practitioners will tell you 5. This is about empowering your body and putting the trust into your hands. Knowing your own body is the safest and healthiest way to prevent pregnancy when you fully educate yourself, about yourself.
So why did it feel like our peers were popping out kids in high school then? Well, it's because we were never truly educated on how our bodies and contraception work in a healthy manner. We were of course instructed on the basics of how that works, then shown traumatic birthing videos to scare us out of even considering sexual intimacy, but we were never educated on how to actually feel into when our bodies are fertile or not. It was easier for them to tell us to get on the pill or practice abstinence, and deciding to leave out the very important information of just how unhealthy being on the pill is and how against our natural instincts trying to hold abstinence as a young teenager can be.
FAM is a scientifically proven method that follows the rhythm of our body by knowing when we are ovulating through cervical fluid texture/consistency, temperature, cycle patterns, familiar sensations, and cervical positioning. Tracking this lets us know when it is safe to have unprotected sex or when to use protection. The FAM method is equally as effective as the pill and IUD’s.
Note: this method is not for everyone, those commonly experiencing STI’s and AIDS are better using barrier protection. This method is recommended for monogamous couples that have the maturity and discipline to follow the methods correctly. This is because when you share multiple partners inconsistently, your womb's ecosystem changes due to the continual introduction of different bacteria/chemicals/fluids that is shared through intercourse, often causing incalculable changes in your fluids and cycle timing making it much harder to track.
Unfortunately we have lived in a world of money driven companies that often prefer to make profit over free education. It is unprofitable for both physicians and pharmaceutical companies when women take fertility into their own hands. There's no hormones, pills, or IUD’s to sell to a woman that tracks her own fertility.
On an even more upsetting note, when asking doctors that are aware of FAM why they don’t disclose this information to their patients the response is along the lines of “Women can’t be bothered to learn it because it’s complicated and difficult to use, it requires high intelligence in order to apply it and too much time to learn the practice.” -Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Apparently some doctors honestly believe that women are not intelligent enough to understand the FAM information taught in classes.
I’m going to tell you right now that you are absolutely smart enough to comprehend this method and as a woman it is your God given right to understand your own body, in fact, its very natural for you to know just like any animal is born with a natural instinct. Once the information is disclosed and you care enough about your health and fertility, you’ll find it to be rather simple after a few cycles and your knowledge will only continue to expand as you become even more aware over the years.
Now, I don’t blame the doctors for not teaching it simply due to how much information would need to be shared in a check up session and they only have so much time, also they simply have been trained to handle these matters in a particular way that doesn’t include sharing this information. Many are actually unaware of this method due to the lack of training from the education system. So it would be irresponsible to blame for this problem.
We are going to take a look at Temperature, Cervical Positioning, Cervical mucus/fluid, and sensational ques to look out for. For safety, I suggest to track 3 to 4 cycles before fully relying on this method ESPECIALLY if you are coming off of hormonal birth control. If you have already been pretty in tune with your cycles then you may be comfortable to rely on this method sooner. Here is a link to obtaining cycle charts to make it easier to track!
Once you have stopped bleeding, start checking your cervical fluid daily. You can do this by putting your finger at the opening of your vaginal lips, or taking a tissue and wiping front to back and observing the fluid that way. Try to do this every time you go to the bathroom before and after urination. There are many forms our cervical fluid takes throughout our phases. Healthy cervical fluid may show up as:
Dry, sticky, creamy, slippery/clear/stretchy, damp, crumbly, lotiony, slippery/streaked/stretchy, rubbery or gummy, milky, and slippery/clear/but not stretchy.
If you experience intense itching, swelling, redness, and unpleasant odor, or unusual discharge then these indicate the possibility of a vaginal infection.
It’s good to know that there is something called arousal fluids which are different from cervical fluids. This comes when you are sexually stimulated and provides lubrication for intercourse. This is generally clear stretchy fluid that is not to be confused with the ovulatory cervical fluids. So when checking your fluids, do so when unaroused.
The water test: Another trick you can do is to take your cervical fluid and put it in a cup of water. Cervical fluids do not dissolve in water like basic vaginal secretions do. So if you place it in the water and it condenses and drops or just floats there, you know that this is fertile cervical fluid. Technically you could just check the toilet during your guessed fertile times, sometimes cervical fluid is fast and slips out quickly while you urinate. In this case you’ll see it long and stringy or pool into a ball in the toilet water.
Also if you ever use spermicides as a form of contraception, be sure to consider the fact it will mask what your cervical fluid is telling you. So you may need to wait a few days to read it properly again.
DRY
There is a safe window even before ovulation during your “Dry days” if you check your fluids throughout the day and if it remains dry all the way through 6:00 PM then intercourse is safe for the evening and ONLY the evening.
“Dry” cervical mucus shows up how it sounds. Basically not at all. If you are no longer spotting blood and there is no fluid coming out, this is a dry cervical phase. There will always be a sort of dampness or moisture at the vaginal opening, dry is considered when it very quickly dissipates from the finger as you check. Without cervical fluid, sperm can only survive a few hours even within your yoni.
STICKY/CLUMPY/RUBBERY/CREAMY
When your cervical fluid becomes sticky, begins to clump, and/or has a rubbery tackiness to it, you’re beginning your fertile phase, likely building in your inner springtime/follicular phase. This is where the fluids become a safe haven for sperm and if you are doing pregnancy prevention then this is the time to abstain or use protection.
WET/RAW EGGWHITE/STRETCHY/CLEAR
In your fertile window you will see more of an egg white texture that is stringy and sticky. When pulled between your thumb and finger it stretches out long without breaking or snapping back (such as a rubbery texture as above) This is your ovulation time coming in at its peak! Maximum fertile days have arrived. This is the time under a microscope your fluid would look like rivers, streams guiding sperm up into your uterus for conception.
When it comes to pregnancy prevention do not have intercourse during this time, or use appropriate protection. Keep your eyes peeled for the “Peak Day”. Your Peak day is the last day you have egg white or lubricative vaginal sensation. Unprotected intercourse is safe to engage in on the third EVENING after your peak day. That being said, observe yourself carefully, if you go dry for two days but on the third day this type of fluid returns then your peak day is now restarting on that day! If your fluid simply returns to “sticky/clumpy/damp/rubbery” after you just experienced egg white/clear/stretchy you are still considered infertile.
It is very important to pair this information with your thermal shift or temperature tracking. Sometimes we show wetter fluids even deep into our luteal phase if we are stressed, overwhelmed, or have an illness which can be confusing. Referring to your temperatures will be your next failsafe if this occurs.
Thermometer guidelines: DO NOT USE EAR OR FOREHEAD THERMOMETERS, these ones are not considered reliable enough for fertility tracking. Digital thermometers with memory are the best, specifically look for ones that say “basal body”
Check your temperature every morning the moment you wake up and before you decide to pick up and play on your phone. You will need a thermometer that has extra decimals than regular ones, and don’t worry it is an oral temperature check. It’s a comically common question to wonder where exactly your temperature is being taken. Temperatures may provide sporadic information if you stayed up late drinking, had a restless night, slept in, or are sick so keep that in mind as you collect data.
You can purchase a thermometer here, for the cheaper option with good qualities or here for the option with Bluetooth uploads which is more costly but trust me after a few months of entering your temperature everyday, its sweet relief. As of right now though, the Bluetooth devices generally link to an app that requires a subscription, which is less ideal.
(Note: often fertility apps have ovulation prediction days but it should be warned they often follow the rhythm method without consideration of everything else, so it’s better to use them for notes and data tracking then confirm for yourself whether you are ovulating or not)
When observing your temperature you’ll find it provides pretty obvious information based on your rising and falling temperatures. When you are menstruating or in your follicular/innerspring phase your temperatures remain lower all the way through your ovulation. Once ovulation has occurred your temperature spikes up, letting you know that your estrogen has dropped and progesterone has taken over (no longer fertile). Below is an example:
Day 1 and 2 of the cycle above is slightly higher because your temperature can be rather sporadic during menstruation, see the “Sex on your period” section below to learn about fertility on your period. Observe that her first 16 days of her cycle ranged around 97.2 to 97.6 then suddenly on day 17 her temperature spiked to 98.2 indicating that ovulation has occurred and she is no longer fertile.
Notice that black line across the 97.7 temperature? That is her “baseline” which you may find helpful to draw out to recognize the temperature spike. The way you determine your baseline temperature is to take note of your first “wet” day or the day cervical fluid begins to show up and observe the previous 6 days temperatures. Go 1/10th above the highest temperature and that is your baseline. In the example above you can see her highest temperature before it spiked was 97.6, so she drew her line just above that.
Let’s take a look at an even more detailed chart that pairs cervical fluid consistency with the thermal shift:
This woman's chart shows her lower basel temperatures ranging from 97.2 to 97.8 up until day 17(Pre ovulation) then suddenly spikes to 98.4 reaching up to 98.9 on day 18(Post ovulation). Notice her cervical fluid tracking under “vaginal sensation”, her last written “wet” day was the 17th followed by 3 days of dry, making her safe for unprotected intercourse day the 20th! YAY! Also notice the day she wrote “wet” she considered her highest temperature(97.8) 6 days leading up to the wet day and drew her baseline temperature at 97.9. This collaborated nicely with her cervical fluid tracking, spiking the day after her peak day.
You may also observe that she has tracked her luteal phase which starts the day after peak day (day 18) and lasts 13 days until her next menstruation on day 31, temperature drops. The red blocked out section is her safe zone for unprotected intercourse.
When tracking your temperature be sure to record the lower decimal instead of rounding up like you did in school (If your temperature is 97.67 record it as 97.6). Know that your basal temperatures may look different than other women's charts, so it’s important to keep track of your own rhythms and patterns instead of comparing them to others.
You should also record any stressful events that may occur during your cycle, often times when we are placed under stress or endure a traumatic event it can shift our cycle days around a bit, which is why it’s important to be diligent! Even traveling or moving homes can cause a shift. Of course the older we get the more consistent our charts become as well. For paper charts that are just like this click here. You can always track your cycles on an app as well, but often the visual representation can be superior when learning how to read your cycle.
This can be the most difficult sign to recognize but after some practice becomes a pretty amazing indicator if you are fertile or not. Reaching up and feeling for your cervix to tell if it is opened or closed. When you ovulate your cervix lifts up and goes deeper in your body so it may be more difficult to find during this time. To test, simply use your clean middle finger and insert deep into yourself and feel around. Do this during different phases of your cycle so you may learn the different positions it moves in. Feel for the opened or closed hole in your depths.
When you are approaching ovulation, if you can reach far enough to feel it, it will feel very soft and open, somewhat like flower petals. When you are no longer fertile the cervix drops lower and feels firmer, as if you were pushing into the tip of your nose. The cervix will be closed, no longer allowing semen to go any further.
This information will provide helpful collaboration with the thermal shift, and cervical fluid interpretations, a third fail safe for being absolutely sure you are in an infertile phase.
When you check for the first time you may find it beneficial to start after ovulation, when the cervix is at its lowest. Make sure your nails are clipped and your hands are cleaned! Do not check if you currently have an infection or sores. If you feel small bumps almost like glued in sand, don’t worry these are just nabothian cysts which are pretty normal and tend to come and go.
Here is an illustrated image to help you grasp a little more for what you are feeling for:
Picture credit: Cervix Opening and Closed
You may find it beneficial to look up real pictures of what the cervix looks like when they are opened and closed to get an even better idea. As you begin to recognize what you are feeling and observing, you may find it helpful to chart the sensations, an example of charting is provided below:
To start off I would like to share that having sex on your period is not fully recommended for the simple fact that this is your time to rest and recover. Your inner energy shifts to a downward motion and physically shows up as menstruation shedding blood. Penetration has a pushing upward effect that disrupts your natural energetic process. It also may cause the blood to remain inside for longer than it’s meant to and lead to infections or stagnancy.
Of course, we are human and we have our spark moments where we may find we want to do it anyways! I’ve been there, I know. So let’s keep our education hats on to know our fertility even during this sensitive time.
If you are a person that has had any cycles 25 Days or shorter then un-barrier protected sex is still safe in the first 3 days of your cycle (which starts the day you bleed). Odds are if you experience shorter cycles your ovulation is earlier in your cycle than commonly recorded. Now remember, your inner spring/follicular phase is right after menstruation which is a fertile zone!
If you are a woman that has the average to longer cycle days then you are safe for the first 5 days. Although, even if you are bleeding after day 5 of your cycle it is safer to abstain or use protection during this time unless you stop bleeding and can observe your “dry days” as mentioned above. If you bleed into this time it will be too hard to recognize when cervical fluids have begun.
Following the methods above allows you to be in control and educated on your own fertility. When it comes to coming off of the pill or recently taking plan B, be sure to be disciplined in tracking this information for several months before fully trusting it. Birth control is awesome at numbing out our natural intelligence and throwing off our cycles' regular patterns, creating imbalance. Don’t let that scare you though, your body always wants to return back to normal and will do so with proper nourishment and attention.
There is more depth to be learned about this entire topic which you can find in the book, “Taking Charge of your fertility” by Tony Weschler or attending FAM classes. Becoming aware of your biological functions gives you the power of knowing when or if something has malfunctioned and needs attention. Trust me, you have the power to know even more than your gynecologist does when it comes to your own fertility. Take this power back into your own hands and lead yourself to the healthiest happiest life you can carve out for yourself.
Book Reference : Taking charge of your fertility by Tony Weschler
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